Safety Net
by huddysmyvicodin
Summary: What would happen if Lily went to see Rufus after Bart grabbed her? This takes place after the Thanksgiving episode, "It's Really Complicated". Could be a one-shot or it could be more. Rufus/Lily all the way!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This story is completely unrelated to **_**Clean Slate**_**; it's just an idea after watching the Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl. Oh and for the purpose of this story Dan isn't at the loft. Rufus/Lily all the way, enjoy!**

Lily shouldn't be doing this. She knows that she shouldn't be doing this. She just go to Miraval for the week like she promised. However, the incident with Bart in the office earlier today makes her not want to be alone. She needs someone to talk to, reach out to, to cling to.

The limo detaches from the curb and blends in with the nightly New York traffic. _If you are going to do this, you need to do it now, _Lily thinks to herself as she is staring out the window, admiring the lights adorning the skyscrapers. She heavily sighs and presses the intercom button.

"Yes Mrs. Bass?" The driver asks on the other side of the glass partition.

"Can we make a change in our route?" Lily asks while rummaging for some wine or champagne or anything that will numb her and give her the liquid courage to do what she is about to do.

"Of course, where would you like to go?" Lily finds a bottle of gin and drinks right out of it, not bothering to waste time searching for a glass. She wipes the excess alcohol off her lips before rattling off an all too familiar address.

Her limo pulls to a stop in front of the run-down apartment building. The driver gets out of the car to open the door for Lily who slowly extracts herself from the car, abandoning the half empty bottle of gin.

"If you could leave the bags and maybe stay here for a little bit that would be great. We might be going to our original destination after all," Lily tells the driver who nods. She climbs the steps to, self-doubt rising with each stair. Finally, Lily reaches the door to his loft, internally debating if she should knock or not. Her hand hovers over the door for a brief second before she raps on it loudly.

No answer or activity from inside so far. _Good, this was a horrible idea after all, just go back downstairs Lily, _her mind tells her, but she cannot move. She waits ten seconds, then twenty. Just as she is about to turn on her heels and run back to the limo, the door to the loft lurches open.

"Lily? What are you doing here?" Rufus asks, his face displaying a myriad of emotions. Lily sighs in defeat, he is wearing _that _shirt. The last time Rufus wore that black shirt with the rose detailing was the night before Lily's first marriage to Bart, the night her and Rufus had sex, the best night of her life.

If Rufus was smart, he would just close the door in Lily's face. Sure they made amends a little while back, but that doesn't mean they are ready to be anything close to friends yet. Something about the way his ex-wife is standing there, looking slightly rattled and smelling faintly of alcohol makes it impossible to turn her away.

"I was wondering if we could talk," Lily whispers, glancing down at the floor before briefly meeting Rufus' questioning gaze. Rufus steps aside, letting Lily enter. He shuts the door behind them and watches Lily text on her phone quickly. Lily sets her phone down and plops down on the couch, reaching for a blanket a few cushions over.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" Rufus asks and walks over to the kitchen.

"Yes to both questions," she responds, sending Rufus straight to the waffle maker. While Rufus is cooking, Lily glances around the loft, not having been in it for almost six months. She spots some boxes overflowing with things in the corner of the living room and goes over to them.

They have loved each other for over twenty years and were married for almost three and this is what remains of their relationship. Boxes full of photos and other memorabilia from the Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays and Valentine's Days spent together. Lying on top of an open box is a photo from Lily's birthday two years ago. She didn't even know Rufus had someone take a picture of her opening his gift to her, a cookbook full of her favorite recipes that he made her which she still has in her kitchen. In the photo Lily is beaming at Rufus, love filling every inch of her face.

Lily shoves the photo back into the box as if she has been burned. It's too much; her eyes become glassy with tears. God, what have they done to each other? They were so happy, so in love and now she is a guest in her ex-husband's home.

"Lil?" His special nickname for her draws her out of the joyous memories threatening to consume her. Lily turns around to see Rufus holding two plates of waffles and two glasses of wine.

"You remembered," She accepts her share and collapses on the couch with Rufus.

"It was our Sunday morning tradition for over two years. How could I forget?" Rufus asks, as if it didn't mean anything. Every Sunday when they were together, Lily and Rufus had waffles and wine in bed, just the two of them. No kids or distractions, it was their way of catching up on each other's week before a new one began.

Lily smiles and they wordlessly enjoy their meal, the silence no longer as suffocating as it was when she first arrived. Of course, they are going to have to have a conversation, but it can wait until after they eat.

They attempt to make small talk, but it falls flat. It's too hard to gossip about petty things when they both want to talk about something else much more important. Lily and Rufus revert back into chewing and sipping quietly, each lost in their own thoughts.

_She looks a little better when she first walked in_, Rufus thinks to himself as he polishes off his wine and waffles. Lily still seems off to him and giving her more alcohol probably didn't help, however, she appears more stable than when he first opened the door.

"Here I got it," Rufus tells her and takes the dirty dishes to the sink. Lily rubs her hands in anticipation, she is aware that Rufus is going to probe into her visit tonight. She is honestly surprised that it has taken this long for him to ask. Rufus sets the dishware and cutlery into the sink before rejoining Lily on the couch.

"So Lil, what brings you here to the loft? And don't say it was because you missed me," Rufus tells her with a serious tone. Lily bites her lip, she knows Rufus too well.

"Bart and I were talking in his office about his…business and he…he grabbed me," She mumbles watching Rufus eyes widen in shock and anger.

Rufus never liked anything about Bart Bass. Bart is cold, calculating and all about business, but Rufus never thought Bart could be violent. No wonder she was so upset when she arrived, although she first tried desperately to hide behind a bottle of gin.

"Did he hurt you?" Rufus asks, his eyes darting to her arms, covered by her golden lace dress.

"I don't know I have been too scared to check." Lily carefully rolls up her sleeves. Luckily, there is no bruising marring her ivory skin. Unfortunately, if there was, Lily could use it as evidence to obtain a restraining order from Bart. That is, if she wants one.

"What made him so mad that he grabbed you?"

"I don't know if I should be telling you this, but I do trust you. Do you remember Bruce Kaplan?"

"Yeah, didn't I meet him at the opera when you were going to adopt Chuck?"

"Yes, well he mysteriously died on Bart's yacht and Bart kept it from me, I only found out through Blair. Also, another one of Bart's business partners turned up dead in a car leased by Bass Industries. When I confronted Bart about it, he was calm at first, but when I pushed him about it, he grabbed me and yelled in my face."

"Oh my god Lily, did you tell anyone else about this?"

"No, I warned Charles about Bart, but I didn't tell him the extent of it. I knew Charles would try to attack Bart if he found out about what his father did to me." Lily can feel herself start to unravel, she has been blocking that incident out of her mind and it's all coming back to her in full force now.

Rufus can tell by the way Lily jerks her head away from his gaze that she is about to cry. Despite everything, or rather, everyone that has come between them, Rufus still loves Lily. She was his first great love and that hasn't changed. He doesn't know if he is still _in _love with Lily at this point, but he still cares about her deeply and wants to console her.

"Lil, come here," Rufus wraps his arms around her for the first time since their divorce. This is her undoing, Lily finally allows herself to let out all the fear that she has been holding in since leaving the penthouse earlier this evening. As Lily cries into him, Rufus can't help but to find comfort in this familiarity. The smell of her shampoo lingering in the air, the way she buries her head in his chest while she cries reminds Rufus of the good times in their relationship.

Lily lets everything out to the point where she doesn't even remember the reason why she was crying in the first place. These past few months have been rough on her to say the least. CeCe's death, her marriage to Rufus disintegrating, Bart's return; have chiseled away her strength little by little until there is nothing left but her sobbing uncontrollably on Rufus' couch. And the bitter irony of it all is the person she has hurt the most, the person that has hurt _her _most is the only one she wants soothing her right now.

Seeing his ex-wife so stripped down, so inconsolable, so broken, it tugs at Rufus' heartstrings. However, he is stuck between a rock and a hard place at this moment. He wants to provide Lily with the security she so greatly needs right now without sending the wrong message. He doesn't even know why Lily sought out him for comfort or how far she plans on taking whatever this is they are doing here tonight.

Lily's sobs diminish into barely audible whimpers. Her makeup is smeared, her hair untangling itself from the chignon it was wrapped in earlier. She does one final loud sniff and pulls her head away from Rufus.

"I must look like a mess," Lily laughs as she wipes away leftover tears pooled around her eyes. Rufus catches a cascading tear with his finger, sending it flying off of her face.

"You have looked better," Rufus jokes, earning a playful swat and glare from Lily.

"If you don't mind, I am going to clean myself up," Lily excuses herself to his bathroom, leaving Rufus alone with his thoughts. He gazes over at his wall of pictures, focusing on one in particular next to the boxes. The photo is of him smiling with his eyes closed, his head pressed up against Lily who is grinning at the camera. This photo inspired them to make up after the fight they were having and to get married the next day. Lily suddenly materializes behind him, gazing at the picture of them with a nostalgic smile on her face.

"I think that is my favorite picture of us," she whispers softly, reaching out to touch the photo. Rufus nods his head in agreement; he likes that one better than any of the others because it was spontaneous. There was no posing or adjusting, it was just them caught off guard by the camera. Rufus drops his eyes to the boxes and notices a photo slightly askew inside. He picks it up and notices Lily starting to blush.

"I was looking at that earlier while you were cooking. I didn't even realize you had someone take this picture of me opening your gift." Lily says over his shoulder, her breath spilling onto his shoulder.

"I wanted to get your honest reaction of my gift and I thought that was the best way to do it. Thankfully you looked overjoyed so I knew I had the perfect present." Rufus places the photo back in its rightful place and turns to face a freshly cleaned Lily.

Neither Rufus nor Lily knows who initiated the kiss, but both of them didn't want to stop. For Rufus, it is like he is coming up for air. His longing has been fulfilled in the best way possible. For Lily, the kiss has revitalized her senses. Sure her and Bart kiss, but it is more of a mechanical motion more than anything else. With Rufus, she can feel the passion ebbing off his lips, making him that much more desirable to her.

They detach from each other, the lack of oxygen being the deciding factor. Rufus and Lily are dazed and confused, not sure what to make of their first kiss since they have been separated.

"Woah…" Rufus mumbles, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah…" Lily murmurs, touching her lips, still feeling the spark ignited from their kiss. Both Rufus and Lily stay quiet for a few minutes, taking the time to process what just happened, ending up at the same unasked question; where do we go from here?

Rufus decides that it is best to not continue the kiss any further. He doesn't want to take advantage of a vulnerable and slightly drunk Lily. If they were serious about starting over, it needs to be when they are both sober and not attached to anyone else. He cannot be her way of forgetting about what Bart did to her earlier today that would only set them up for failure later on down the line.

Lily is unsure if she wanted that kiss to happen or not, it was one of those things that is so wrong but feels so right. Regardless, she is still legally married to Bart even though she doesn't want to be right now. Also, she isn't a hundred percent sure why she came to Rufus' tonight and until she figures that out, they shouldn't be doing anymore kissing.

A yawn stemming from Lily indicates that their conversation should be put on hold until tomorrow.

"Do you want to spend the night Lil?" Rufus asks with no pretext evident in his voice.

"I don't want to impose," She responds, although there is nowhere else she would rather stay.

"It's no trouble; I will even let you have the bed." Lily shakes her head vigorously,

"I won't let you give up your bed for me; I will sleep on the couch."

"Lil, you hate this couch remember? It's not a big deal, take the bed."

"The bed is big enough for us to sleep on opposite sides, please, I insist." Against his better judgment, Rufus agrees to sleep in his bed with her. He doesn't move much in his sleep anyway so it will be easy to stay on his side.

"Let me go get my luggage," Lily says and opens the loft door, rolling in a suitcase that was left by her driver. Rufus can't help but laugh, of course she knew that he would let her stay.

"What?" Lily asks, catching Rufus laughing at her.

"Nothing, I just find it funny that you already had your luggage brought up here." Lily's cheeks take on a pinkish hue,

"Sorry, I didn't want to make my driver wait forever. Hopefully, Bart won't make the driver tell him where he took me tonight." For some reason, this makes Rufus feel guilty and a little scared for her.

"Lil, I didn't mean anything by it." Rufus apologizes as they are walking toward his bedroom.

"I know, don't worry," Lily puts a hand on his arm to reassure him before heaving the suitcase on his bed.

"Are you planning on moving in here or something?" Rufus asks, earning a trademark "Rufus" look from Lily.

"I was supposed to go to away for a week, but I didn't want to be alone." Lily admits sheepishly while digging through her suitcase, locating her pajamas at the bottom.

"Well, I am glad that you came here," Rufus confesses. Lily shoots him an appreciative smile and disappears into the bathroom to change. Rufus slips out of his own clothes and into more comfortable ones all the while confused as to why Lily went into the bathroom. It's not like he hasn't touched, kissed and explored every inch of her flesh before. Rufus sighs softly; it kills him that her body doesn't belong to him, that they are uncomfortable sharing a bed, that they aren't together at all anymore.

Lily comes out of the bathroom wearing a silk lilac nightgown. Rufus swallows a moan rising in his throat as he slides under the covers. Lily winks at him and joins him in bed, each on separate sides, no longer meeting in the middle like they used to.

The sun seeps through the cracks, illuminating Rufus and Lily's faces, causing her to wake up. Lily tries to adjust, but finds that she cannot because Rufus' arm is wrapped tightly around her. She is even more surprised to discover that her head was on top of his chest, the way she always used to sleep. As she becomes more alert and awake, her headache increases. Lily pads to the bathroom, searching for some aspirin and some water to wash the pills down with as Rufus begins to stir.

"Lil?" Rufus calls out, wondering if she woke up and left him. Lily swallows her water and pokes her head out of the bathroom. She comes back into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Well, I guess we didn't stay on different sides of the bed," Lilly comments, filling the awkward silence.

"Old habits die hard I guess" Rufus mumbles and assesses her more closely, "how is your head?"

"Better, I stole some aspirin from your cabinet. I hope you don't mind."

"No, its fine, what time is it?" Lily glances over at the clock,

"A little after eight, did I wake you up?"

"No, are you hungry?" Rufus asks to which Lily nods. "Do you want something besides waffles for breakfast?"

"No unless you want something else," Lily tells him. She misses the aroma of waffles stemming from the kitchen when he used to cook for her. Breakfast with Bart consists of bagels and coffee on the way to the office, leaving her alone with whatever she makes for herself. Which, giving her lack of cooking skills, is usually a yogurt or a banana and some orange juice.

About five minutes later, Rufus and Lily eat their freshly made waffles in the same spot they were twelve hours earlier.

"So Lil, what are you going to do?" Rufus asks, realizing that they just need to have this conversation now while Lily is still sober. Lily shrugs and takes a sip of her milk before talking.

"I don't know, I do still love Bart," Lily says and it's true. She does love Bart, but she is starting to question their relationship. She is so conflicted about who she wants to be with. After all, she left both Rufus and Bart for a reason. Lily weighs her options carefully. With Bart, she gets more money than she has ever dreamed of and all the amenities that come with being Mrs. Bart Bass. With Rufus, she gets a partner and more love than she could ever imagine, but is love enough?

"Okay let's start with another question. Why did you leave me?" Rufus asks the pain still raw in his voice. Lily puts her hand over her mouth as her eyes fill with tears. She never expected Rufus to ask her that with such a hurtful tone, it breaks her heart.

"I thought you were going to leave me so I did the only thing that made sense at the time." Lily admits, though she knows that it is a weak excuse.

"Lily I know we both hurt each other deeply, but I wanted to fight for what we had… I still do," Rufus admits, his eyes flickering up to meet hers.

"You do?" Lily asks softly. She is overjoyed and terrified at the same time. She wants more than anything to be with Rufus again, but how many times can they start over? What will become of them if they don't stay together this time?

"I firmly believe that you and I can work as long as we stop going behind each other's backs and just be honest with each other."

"Rufus, I am so sorry for everything that has happened between us." Rufus grins, this is the first time that Lily has ever admitted fault for her role in the dissolution of their marriage. He reaches over to grab her hand, bringing to his lap.

"I am too Lily, for everything." Lily leans in to kiss him, but Rufus backs away. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion and looks up at him for an explanation. "Lil if we are going to do this, we need to do it right. You need to end it with Bart, for good."

Of course Rufus is right, however that doesn't mean Lily isn't scared. After what Bart did yesterday for asking him a few questions, she doesn't know what he would do when she tells him that she is leaving him.

Rufus senses Lily's hesitation and believes that it is more out of fear of Bart than anything else. He frightened her yesterday and Rufus hates Bart for it.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Rufus asks.

"No, I don't want to give Bart another reason to come after you. I have to do this myself otherwise we can't move on."

"Okay, please be careful Lily." Rufus says and lets go of her hand. Lily brushes a loose strand of hair out of his eye before standing up.

"I will," Lily starts to roll her suitcase out of the loft, but is interrupted by Rufus.

"Oh Lily you can leave that here." Lily laughs and sets the luggage against the wall before closing the door behind her.

**A/N 2: That is it! I am not sure if I want to continue this any further or not. Reviews help me decide. I hope Gossip Girl ends with Rufus and Lily together although it isn't looking too hot right now. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! Welcome back to my story and thank you for the lovely reviews. This chapter takes place right after the last one and doesn't include Bart's death at all. **

**Chapter Two**

_"Okay, please be careful Lily." Rufus says and lets go of her hand. Lily brushes a loose strand of hair out of his eye before standing up._

_ "I will," Lily starts to roll her suitcase out of the loft, but is interrupted by Rufus._

_ "Oh Lily you can leave that here." Lily laughs and sets the luggage against the wall before closing the door behind her._

Lily dials her driver while walking down the stairs, a smile coming to her face when she realizes that Rufus left her an unspoken invitation to come back to his loft.

"Hi, can you pick me up at the same place you dropped me off last night? And whatever you do, do not tell my husband." Lily hates the fact that she is calling Bart Bass her husband after what happened last night.

"Sure, Mrs. Bass, I will be there soon." The driver hangs up and Lily is left there waiting. She contemplates going back upstairs to Rufus' loft, but she knows that if she does she won't want to leave.

Lily checks her email and sends a text to Chuck, informing him that she is alright and making sure that he is too. He responds back quickly, letting her know that he has a plan to take down his father. As much as Lily would get immense satisfaction out of giving her husband payback for scaring her last night, she cannot partake in whatever Chuck and Blair are scheming up. She does still love Bart and wishes him well, just not with her.

The limo pulls up and the driver searches around for Lily's bags. Lily blushes, she couldn't think of a good reason as to why her luggage isn't with her.

"I…uh…left them with a friend," Lily says, thinking that has to be the worst excuse she could have said. The driver doesn't question it and opens the door for her. Lily slips inside and instructs the driver to take her back to the penthouse. As they get back into the flow of traffic, Lily spots the almost empty bottle of gin. She contemplates reaching for it and finishing it off, but she resists. If Lily is going to talk to Bart, she needs to be clear headed and sober. A sharp contrast from last night when all she wanted to do was drink herself into a stupor.

Lily is terrified about how Bart is going to take the news of her leaving him. She never got the chance to do it the first time because of the car accident and his faked death. That makes her mind travels back to the Snowflake Ball over four years ago when she told Rufus that she was leaving Bart. Rufus was the first person she told and the only person she wanted to tell. _God, that was a great night, _Lily thinks to herself and smiles. The dance with Rufus and their conversation afterwards made her believe that she was making the right decision about leaving Bart Bass.

Here they are four years later and so much has happened. Bart's supposed death, getting back together with Rufus, marrying him, Bart's return, ending her marriage with Rufus, going back to Bart and now she is driving back to her penthouse to leave Bart and be with Rufus. In her heart of hearts she knows that she hasn't been truly happy for a long time. Even if Lily couldn't admit it out loud, the last time she can remember being satisfied with her life was when her and Rufus spent an entire Sunday in bed together, right before CeCe died, talking about anything and everything.

She never could do that with Bart, he could never see her for who she really is. Bart sees the surface level, the show that Lily puts on for him. Rufus couldn't care less about the expectations of living on the Upper East Side, he just put up with it for her. Although she and Rufus are very dissimilar, which led to arguments from time to time, he tried to carve his niche in her world and Lily tried to do the same for him. She had to admit, Rufus put in more effort than her, giving up his loft and attending society galas when she knew he would rather be in Brooklyn drinking wine out of his "Welcome Back Kotter" mugs.

Lily is saddened that it took her this long to see how much Rufus gave up being with her and she took it for granted. Every time he would complain about eating caviar or wearing an Armani suit, she interpreted it as him being stubborn and too set in his ways to change for her. When did she ever spend a day in Brooklyn doing exactly what he wanted? Was she really that selfish?

"Mrs. Bass?" The driver asks, breaking into Lily's thoughts. Lily jerks her head up and realizes that the limo is parked in front of the apartment building. The driver gets out of the car and opens the back door for Lily who smiles in appreciation.

"Please, call me Lily," she says and pats the driver on the shoulder before walking to the elevator. She steps off the elevator and sets her Birkin bag on the barstool.

"Bart?" Lily yells to no response. She digs her iPhone out of her purse and checks the time. It is noon, meaning Bart has a lunch meeting with a potential partner. He should be back here in an hour. Lily sighs; she just has to wait for Bart to come back in an hour. Her phone dings, signifying that she has a text message. She breaks out into a wide grin when she sees it's from Rufus.

**Hey Lil, just making sure you are safe. Call me when you can.**

Lily sits down on the couch with her phone and dials Rufus.

"Hey you," Rufus says happily into the phone, not expecting her to call so soon.

"Hey, Bart isn't here yet, so I am going to wait until he gets back to talk to him. I will come back to the loft when I am done." Lily says while flipping through a magazine she found on the coffee table.

"How about I come and see you? Maybe bring back your luggage and have some dinner?" Rufus suggests, hoping that she will say yes.

"Okay that sounds great! I'll see you then."

"Okay, bye." Rufus and Lily hang up, not ending their conversations with "I love you" like they used to do. Things are too new again for them to be saying the sacred three letter word. It's not that they don't love each other, because they do. They are both too scared to be the first one to say it again for fear that the other person isn't ready to say it back.

For the next hour, Lily reads her magazine while sipping on some chamomile tea. Bart arrives back at the penthouse at one, just like she predicted.

"Lily? What are you doing here? I thought you went to Miraval for the week." Bart says and sets his briefcase down on the counter before sitting on a chair across from her. Lily takes a deep breath in; she should have just written Bart a letter or a left voicemail message. No, it is better to do it this way, Lily would want it done this way if he was leaving her.

"I'm leaving you," Lily says and takes off her wedding ring, setting it on the table between them. Confusion flickers across Bart's face,

"Was this because I grabbed you yesterday?" Lily shakes her head vigorously back and forth.

"No, although that did scare me, that isn't the reason, I am just not happy in this relationship." Bart nods reverting back to his usual stone-like expression.

"So tell me Lily, did you spend the night with Rufus last night?" Bart asks, watching guilt consume her features.

"Yes, but I didn't sleep with him if that's what you're asking. Look Bart, I do love you, but I can't keep pretending that our marriage is what I want."

"Well I will send someone to pick up my things and I will be staying at the penthouse at the Empire. Should I send the divorce papers here or to Rufus' loft?" Bart couldn't resist feeling bitter about the man who captured Lily's heart, something he was unable to do. Lily glares at Bart, but doesn't feel the need to retaliate.

"You can mail them here and I will sign them. I really am sorry Bart; I thought this was the best thing for me." Bart snatches the rings off the table, tucking them in his suit.

"Goodbye Lily," Bart says and grabs his briefcase. Lily walks over to him and kisses his cheek one last time. Bart stiffens and leaves the penthouse without another word. Lily lets a breath out, that is it, and her marriage to Bart is officially over. She lets guilt wash over her briefly, but it dissipates quickly. To be with Rufus is the best thing for her and her children. Lily collapses on the couch, reaching for her cell phone, redialing Rufus' number.

"Hey, it's done," Lily says her voice a little detached.

"I'm sorry Lil, are you okay?"

"Yes I am fine,"

"No regrets?" Rufus asks, wanting to hear her say it.

"None, I want to be with you Rufus." Rufus smiles, he needed to hear that from her.

"I want to be with you too, Lil. What do you want for dinner?" Lily laughs despite the seriousness of the situation; Rufus always knew how to cheer her up.

"How about some Chinese food? Oh and…"

"…Don't forget the eggrolls," Rufus finishes for her.

"I am glad that you remembered. When are you coming?"

"Around five sound good?"

"Okay, I will see you then."

"Okay, bye," Rufus and Lily hang up, each excited for their dinner together tonight. Although, Lily is confused as to what her and Rufus are now. Is this a date to see if they want to get back together? Are they already back together and they are having dinner as a couple? She isn't sure what Rufus' expectations for tonight are, but regardless, she wants to take things between them slowly. There is no point in jumping back into marriage again or to push aside the issues that caused them to separate in the first place. Lily bites her lip, deep in thought. What she needs right now is a diversion, a distraction.

The best thing she could do is pack up Bart's things before Rufus gets here. She doesn't want Rufus setting his toothbrush down next to Bart's or pushing aside Bart's Hugo Boss suits to make room in the closet for his flannel, that wouldn't be fair. Lily gets off the couch and heads to _her _bedroom. She grabs some boxes left over from when Larissa was packing up Rufus' stuff and brings them into the closet. Surprisingly, Lily is fine with collecting Bart's items. With Rufus, she could barely look at his things before bursting into tears. She made Larissa do it while she and Bart were away celebrating their renewal of their vows.

Clothes, shoes, briefcases, business files all are packed neatly in the boxes with the address of the Empire hotel written on a box flap. The last thing Lily put in was a photo of both weddings they had, no longer wanting it for her mantle. Bart is officially out of her home and out of her life in the span of four hours. Lily carries down the boxes one by one, setting them next to elevator as a reminder to her maid to take them away.

Rufus steps out of the shower and reaches for a towel. As he is getting redressed, his eyes glance over to the clock. It is about fifteen minutes past four, meaning that he has to leave in the next twenty minutes to make it to Lily's on time. He slips on a forest green long sleeve shirt, one of Lily's favorites, pairing it with some jeans and brown loafers. Rufus runs a comb through his hair, brushes his teeth, grabs Lily's luggage and heads out.

He is apprehensive about tonight, what is going to happen between him and Lily? After last night he is positive that he wants her, but things between them have always been complicated, flawed…fragmented, as Lily said in her wedding vows. He doesn't want to jump in with both feet unless she is willing to do the same. Too much has happened for them to be playing games with each other.

Rufus steps off the elevator to the penthouse wheeling her suitcase and carrying their Chinese food.

"Lil?" Rufus calls out, eyeing the boxes piled next to the elevator. He smiles when he sees the address, Lily wasn't kidding when she wanted Bart out of her life as soon as possible.

"Rufus!" Lily answers back, coming down the stairs in his favorite outfit of hers, a tight maroon dress stopping at her mid-thigh. She takes the suitcase from him and rolls it over to the stairs before grabbing his hand, leading him to the couch.

"I missed our Chinese nights," Lily admits, as Rufus is digging through the bag.

"Me too Lil," Rufus hands her the precious eggrolls and her shrimp lo mien. When they were together, Rufus and Lily had Chinese food at least once a week on the couch, followed by a cheesy romantic comedy.

"Did you bring a movie?" Lily asks out of curiosity, trying to gage if Rufus remembers their tradition or not.

"No, but if I remember correctly you had quite the collection," Lily smiles and nods, biting into her egg roll. The pair slips into a semi-comfortable silence while they eat. They still need to talk about their rekindled relationship, but it can wait until Lily has devoured her egg rolls.

Lily is amazed at how easy it is to sit here with Rufus, enjoying a quiet night alone; it is as almost if he never left. They quickly wrap up dinner, with Rufus offering to clean up. Lily insists on her doing it, but Rufus takes the plates away before she can do anything because he doesn't want to feel like a guest in her home.

Rufus rejoins her on the couch, holding out a glass of wine for her to take. Lily accepts the glass with a smile of appreciation, thinking she will need it after the conversation they need to have.

They both begin talking to each other at the same time and then pausing to see who will talk first.

"I guess I will start. I think that we should wait to tell our kids that we are…" Rufus trails off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Are they friends? Definitely. Lovers? That remains to be seen.

Here Rufus is, asking to Lily to define their relationship for him _again. _The last time they had this conversation was that awkward Thanksgiving five years ago with Alison. At the time, Rufus said that she was one of his oldest friends. Lily thought that was the most pathetic answer ever, they were so much more than friends; they had a child together for crying out loud. Now, she isn't so sure what they are, just like Rufus.

"We are…hopefully a couple. That is, if you want to be one." Lily smiles and reaches to brush a stray hair out of his eye.

"I do want to be a couple, but we need to take this very slow. I want us to take the time to correct our mistakes before we even think about getting married again. Does that make sense?"

"Yes it does, which is what I wanted to talk to you about. I had a revelation of sorts while I was coming back here to speak to Bart." Rufus lifts his eyebrows, his curiosity has been piqued.

"And what would that be?" Lily smiles and laces her fingers through his.

"I realized that in our marriage, I hardly ever compromised for you and I was always asking you to do it for me. You became a part of my world, but I never attempted to become a part of yours. Now that we are starting fresh, I promise that I will make more of an effort to truly become more of a Humphrey."

Rufus gives Lily his signature grin and leans in to kiss her, marking their first kiss as an official couple. Lily wastes little time kissing him back, having yearned for another kiss ever since they locked lips last night in his loft. He tastes the same as she remembered; a dash of cologne with a hint of aftershave. Rufus reaches around to run his fingers through her hair, something he always used to do to signal he wanted more. Lily breaks away and puts a finger to her lips.

"As much as I want to, we can't." Lily says, being serious about taking things between them slow. Rufus playfully groans in frustration, but he fully understands. The last thing they want is to rush things and end up where they were before.

"Let's go watch that movie then if I can't have you," Rufus says in feigned annoyance.

"Oh you can have me, just not in the way you want to," Lily jokes and kisses his cheek before standing up. Rufus follows her upstairs to her bedroom, where the TV is set up.

"What do you want to watch?" Rufus asks her to which Lily shrugs.

"How about _Sweet Home Alabama_? That was always one of your favorites." Rufus rolls his eyes,

"That was one of the few movies I actually tolerated for you, how about _Love Actually _instead?" Lily agrees, grabs it from the DVD rack and shoves it in the DVD player. Rufus gets on what used to be his side of the bed, while Lily gets on hers.

"Why did you choose that side anyway?" Lily inquires while the coming attractions blare through the room.

"I like being closer to the door in case something happens," Rufus admits quietly and presses play on the remote. A smile chases across Lily's face and she moves closer to Rufus on the bed. While the movie is playing, Rufus slowly puts an arm around her, testing to see what her reaction is. Lily laughs and her eyes flicker over to Rufus'.

"You are like a teenage boy on his first date," Lily teases him and snuggles even closer. Rufus glares at Lily, but throws his arm around her, pressing her up against his body. Their attention is turned back to the movie, until Lily falls asleep halfway through with her head on Rufus' upper chest.

Rufus can hear her even breathing and turns the movie down slightly, not wanting to wake her up. When the movie is over, Rufus turns off the TV and gently untangles herself from Lily, hoping she doesn't wake up. Unfortunately, Lily's eyes groggily flip open.

"Stay…" Lily whispers and reaches for Rufus' hand. Rufus jumps slightly, but relaxes when Lily runs her thumb across his knuckles.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow," Rufus says back to her, although he doesn't mind sleeping over.

"I miss you sleeping next to me. Please stay?" Lily repeats and pulls him back to the bed.

"Alright Lil," Rufus concedes, even though he doesn't have anything to sleep in.

"I have one of your shirts in my drawer if you want to change into that," Lily admits and is thankful that Rufus can't see her blush.

"You stole one of my shirts?" Rufus asks in amusement, going over to her dresser to search for the shirt.

"It's in the top drawer and yes I did. I wasn't ever going to wear it; I just wanted something to remind me of you." Lily whispers softly. Rufus undresses and puts the shirt on over his head before slipping under the covers. Lily caresses his cheek and gives him a kiss goodnight. Rufus wraps his arms firmly around her, just like he used to.

Lily sighs contently and her eyelids start to droop. She has had two very emotional, but fulfilling days. Lily is overjoyed that she and Rufus are trying again and she has a feeling that it will stick this time. Whether they decide to get married again or not doesn't matter to her as long as they are happy together. It isn't going to be easy, but she made a promise to herself that she is going to be upfront and honest with Rufus. Their relationship fell apart because of the lies and secrets they kept from each other and it isn't going to happen again.

Rufus tightens his grip on Lily, too afraid to let go again. They have a lot to work on if they want to stay together for real this time, but Rufus is confident that they can do it. Rufus is hoping that he and Lily will get better at compromising with each other which was one of their biggest issues in their marriage. None of that matters right now; he is too focused on enjoying sharing a bed again with Lily. He kisses her shiny blonde tresses and whispers softly,

"I love you."

The last time Rufus said that to Lily was about a week before everything fell apart. She was going shopping and promised to be back before dinner. He kissed her goodbye and told her that he loved her. Lily gave him a radiant smile and said that she loved him too before she left the penthouse. It was so simple, something they said to each other every day. Right now though, it was something completely different. It was like saying it for the first time all over again. There was that hesitation; is it too soon to be saying I love you? Is she going to say it back?

Lily barely hears Rufus say those eight letters to her; it was so quiet that she is afraid that she is dreaming. She rotates around in Rufus' arms to face him, to make sure that he is still awake. His green eyes lower to meet her brown ones that are quickly becoming shiny with tears.

"I love you too Rufus," Lily whispers back and gives him one last kiss goodnight.

**A/N 2: Alright, I know the ending is cheesy, but I need a little fluffy Rufly to cheer me up. I am thinking one final chapter if that is okay with you guys? Let me know by leaving me a review if you would. I am crossing my fingers and toes in hopes that Rufus and Lily get back together in the series finale, I hope the writers do not disappoint. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: First of all, I would like to say thank you for all the reviews, I appreciate them. Second, screw the finale that was ridiculous. I am completely ignoring the fact that Rufus/Lily didn't end up together and continuing on with my story. Enjoy the new chapter which is rated M!**

**Chapter Three **

_One Month Later_

Lily cannot believe that she gave this up for the nearly six months they were separated. His arms wrapped around her securely, his warm breath against the nape of her neck, his small grin etched into his features as he is sleeping makes Lily unregretful of her decision to leave Bart. Rufus stirs slightly, making Lily rotate to face him. One by one, his green eyes flicker open, still hazy with dreams.

"Good morning," Lily whispers, giving him a peck on the cheek. Rufus groans and severs his hold around her to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Morning, what time is it?" Rufus asks his voice husky. Lily laughs, having forgotten that Rufus isn't always a morning person. She usually isn't either, but she has been up for a while.

"A little after nine," Lily says over her shoulder as she shoots a quick glance at _his_ alarm clock perched on _his_ side of the bed.

"I will be right back," Rufus mumbles and throws back the sheets on his way to the bathroom.

Lily turns over on her back with a sigh of content. Since they agreed to become a couple again, Rufus has spent most nights with her at the penthouse. As part of her promise, Lily stays over a few nights a week at the loft. Most of Rufus' stuff is back in its rightful spot in her home, almost as if it never was shipped away in boxes.

Also, they have agreed to keep their relationship between them for now, opting to stay in instead of attending a society gala. She doesn't want people talking about her reuniting with Rufus so soon after leaving Bart. Rufus doesn't really seem to mind, in fact, he is happy that Lily is keeping her word about changing for him. Not that he wants her to alter her life completely, but things needed to be adjusted for them to survive together.

Rufus walks out of the bathroom looking a little more awake. He puts his fists on the bed and leans over so his face is inches from Lily's.

"What…" he stops to kiss her on the nose, "do…" another kiss to her forehead, "you…" a third to her cheek, "want…" the fourth to her right temple, "for breakfast?" Rufus finishes the question off with a firm kiss on the lips.

Lily breaks away from the kiss, marveling in the fact that Rufus can make her want more every single time. She meshes his lips with his, backing away slowly in order to make him climb back on the bed. He senses what she is doing and follows her unspoken instructions. Lily deepens the kiss and reaches to take his shirt off. Rufus does the same to her and plants butterfly kisses on both breasts, making Lily throw her head back and moan. While Rufus is assaulting the curve of her neck, Lily instinctively reaches for his pajama pants, sliding them off without any problems. Rufus licks from the hollow of her neck to her jaw line, causing Lily to collapse on the bed, pulling Rufus down with him.

"I want you," Lily whispers as Rufus unhooks her black lace bra. Rufus' eyes darken with desire and he sucks on her nipples eliciting a loud moan from Lily. She wraps her legs around his torso and grabs for his briefs, ripping them off without hesitation. Before Rufus can make another move on her, Lily starts stroking his length. Rufus moans with pleasure and closes his eyes. Lily smirks and flips them over. He opens one eye in a questioning glance.

"I like to be on top," Lily declares and starts nipping at his collarbone. Rufus laughs,

"Very sneaky Lil," Rufus says, aware of her desire to be in control. Lily shoots him a devilish smile and kisses from his pectorals to his belly button. Rufus feels bad that Lily is the one pleasuring him so he slips two fingers inside of her, rubbing the folds of her clit.

"Mhmmmm…." Lily hums through her lips, her breathing starting to quicken. Rufus soaks in the pure lust etched in Lily's features and ups the ante.

"You are so wet Lily," Rufus whispers and kisses her earlobe.

"Rufus, I am so…" Lily can't finish, her chest heaving. Rufus takes the opportunity to switch positions with her so he is back on top. Lily starts to protest, but is cut off by Rufus entering her. He starts to rotate his hips slowly, giving Lily time to enjoy him before he picks up the pace.

"Harder," Lily commands, pulling Rufus in closer to her body.

"With pleasure," Rufus says and does exactly what she tells him to. Lily scratches at his back, hoping to leave her imprint on him by the time they are finished. Rufus moans loudly as he feels the half-moons of Lily's nails dig into his upper back. Each of Rufus' thrusts brings her closer and closer to her unraveling.

"OH! Yes! Rufus!" Lily screams as she reaches her climax. The sound of Lily screaming out his name as she rides out her orgasm makes him slip into his effortlessly. As they slowly come down from the euphoria, Rufus pulls out, having shriveled inside her and lays on the bed next to her, each gasping for air.

"That was…" Rufus trails off after seeing Lily nod her head, catching his unspoken meaning. Lily rolls over and kisses his chest as Rufus envelops her in his arms.

"Thank you for that," Lily whispers, thoroughly enjoying their mid-morning tryst.

"No, thank you," Rufus answers back and leans down to kiss the top of her head as Lily giggles. They sit in silent contentment for a few minutes, not feeling the need to fill the air with pointless chatter. The sound of Lily's stomach growling a few minutes later pulls them out of their own thoughts.

"Do you want actual food for breakfast?" Rufus asks her in amusement.

"I would love some waffles," Lily says and bats her eyelashes at him. Rufus climbs out of bed to fetch his robe. Lily smiles at the sight of Rufus' bare ass, reaching out to spank it.

"Ow!" Rufus whips around to see Lily biting her lip with a twinkle in her eye.

"Sorry, my hand slipped," Lily says innocently as Rufus is putting on his robe.

"You do realize that I am making you food right?" Rufus asks Lily who gets up to slip her robe on.

"Of course, I would starve without your waffles and chili," Lily snarks and walks over to him and places her hands on his shoulders.

"You will pay for that comment later," Lily shrugs,

"I hope so," Rufus shakes his head and gives her one more kiss before descending down the stairs to the kitchen to make them breakfast. Lily remains rooted to the spot with a gigantic grin on her face. This morning with Rufus has been great so far, then again sex with him is always great. They just have that passion for each other that Lily hasn't found in her other husbands. He treats her body like a roadmap, stopping to enjoy her landmarks before reaching their destination. Bart never did that with her, he never took the time to explore their wants as a couple. Sex with him was more of a distraction, a diversion. They had sex because Bart's lunch meeting with a client didn't go well or a business deal fell through. That was how he let out what little feelings he had.

Whereas Lily and Bart had sex, she and Rufus made love. They connected on such a deeper and different level making it simple to see that Lily made the right choice. Although she and Rufus had to separate for awhile, Lily believes it was for the best. It gave them time to step back and really evaluate whether they wanted to work at being a couple or not. Lily is thankful that they choose to be together and is thrilled at the strides they have made so far.

Rufus closes the top of the waffle maker at the same time the elevator door dings. _That's weird, Lily didn't mention anyone coming by today, _Rufus thinks to himself and cranes his neck over the dividing wall to see who it is. Serena steps off the elevator and her eyes widen when she spots Rufus wearing nothing but a robe, making his signature dish.

"Rufus? What are you doing here?" Serena asks in a clipped tone, having not entirely forgiven Rufus for his role in breaking her mother's heart.

From upstairs, Lily hears the elevator ding and muffled chatter. She furrows her eyebrows as she leaves her bedroom. _Nobody called to say they were coming, _Lily wonders and spots Serena with her arms crossed waiting for an answer from Rufus.

"Serena, darling, you didn't say you were stopping by," Lily interrupts their conversation and watches as a relieved look washes over Rufus' face.

"Well I was going to see if you wanted to go out for breakfast, but I can see that you already have that covered," Serena juts her head at Rufus whose eyes slide over to Lily's, not sure how to react to his former stepdaughter's anger directed towards him. Throughout his marriage to Lily, they agreed to let each other take care of their own kids. Lily would discipline Serena and Eric while Rufus disciplined Jenny and Dan. Unless Jenny would go to Lily for a girl issue and vice a versa for Eric.

"Serena!" Lily snaps, not appreciating her daughter's attitude toward Rufus at all.

"What?" Serena asks, glaring at Rufus as he loads some waffles on a plate.

"A word," Lily says to Serena with a raised eyebrow. Serena knows that face all too well, her and Lily are about to have one of their "heart-to-hearts" about the men in Lily's life. Serena sighs in defeat and follows her mother upstairs. Lily shoots an apologetic look at Rufus over her shoulder, embarrassed by her daughter's frosty reception of him. Part of it is Lily's fault, having a revolving door policy with men for the majority of Serena and Eric's childhood.

"So did you leave Bart again?" Serena asks Lily as soon as her mother closes the door behind them.

"First of all, Bart and I separated about a month ago. I haven't told you or anyone else about Rufus and I being back together because we want to take things slow. You are the first one to find out about us actually and I would be grateful if you would treat him with respect." Lily lays down the law, she has tolerated a lot from Serena over the years, but enough is enough. Serena takes the time to absorb what her mother is telling her and feels confused.

"Have you forgiven him for what he did to you, better yet, to us?" Serena challenges her mother with a tilt of the head. Lily sighs; she has never seen herself in her daughter more than in this moment. The toughness and vulnerability towards men that Serena possesses is much like her own.

"Rufus and I talked about it in detail and we both apologized, agreeing to put it behind us. Look my darling, I know that I have kept this from you and I am sorry. I just didn't want to drag you and your brother back into my relationship with Rufus until we figured out that we wanted to be a couple again." Serena is silent for a moment, taking time to consider what Lily just told her.

"Do you love him?" Serena asks, feeling silly for asking such a clichéd question.

"I love him very much, but I don't think I am ready for my sixth…no…seventh…wedding anytime soon. Rufus and I still need to work through our issues first before we even think about getting engaged again or anything of that sort." Serena nods, seeming to be satisfied with that answer.

"Mom out of all the husbands or boyfriends I have seen you around, I never have seen you happier and more comfortable than when you were with Rufus. He was the only one of your husbands who actually tried to be a father to Eric and me. Just please be careful, we all know how bad Rufus' good intentions are." Serena advises her mother, reflecting on the whole Charlie/Ivy incident. Lily smiles at her daughter and links an arm through hers.

"Come on, I am sure Rufus will make you a waffle if you apologize," Lily leads them back to the kitchen where Rufus is crouched over the counter, nursing a cup of coffee. Serena sits down at a barstool at the counter while Lily goes over to give Rufus a kiss. Rufus grabs plates and holds one up for Serena, seeing if she will wave a white flag.

"I would love a waffle Rufus and I am sorry. Mom and I talked and I am glad that you two are together again. However, if you are getting married again, please don't do it in a day, mom almost had a heart attack last time." Serena jokes, attempting to lighten the mood. Rufus and Lily share a laugh as Lily rests her head on Rufus' arm as he is serving them breakfast.

"I will hold off on my inspirational 'let's leap' speech for next time," Rufus jokes back as he snags Lily's hand, taking her over to the table. Lily's eyes crinkle at the corners, remembering every detail of that phone conversation almost three years ago.

_"…So let's leap, let's get married," Rufus says animatedly into the phone. _

_ "We're already getting married Rufus," Lily points out, not exactly sure where Rufus is going with this._

_ "I mean soon, I mean tomorrow…we leap," Rufus tells her with conviction, wanting more than anything to marry the love of his life as soon as possible. From the other end, Lily bursts into a wide grin. Rufus is always getting her to push her boundaries, break out of her comfort zone._

_ "Oh my God! Yes! We leap…" Lily answers back, suddenly sounding more sure of herself. _

Lily is broken out of her reverie by Rufus touching her arm lightly.

"Lil?" Rufus asks, his voice laced with concern. Lily realizes that she must have been staring off into the distance for a good five minutes and nods.

"I'm fine," Lily assures him, turning her attention to her daughter. They spend the rest of breakfast catching up on what is new in Serena's life. After the waffles are eaten and the coffee has been swallowed, Serena bids goodbye to her mother and former stepfather.

The elevator doors shut, leaving Lily and Rufus with the dirty plates and cups from breakfast.

"Well that was an interesting breakfast," Lily says and shakes her head.

"With you Van der Woodsen women, everything is interesting," Rufus gathers the silverware and dishes to put into the dishwasher with Lily's help.

"To Serena's credit she came around rather quickly. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she likes you more than any of my previous husbands." Rufus puts the last of the cutlery into the dishwasher and swings the door shut.

"That's because you two can't stay away from us dashing Humphrey men," Rufus jokes and reaches out to encircle Lily's waist in his arms. Lily lets out a closed-mouth chuckle,

"Try as we might, it's yours and Dan's ability to play Scrabble that keeps us coming back for more," Lily jokes lightheartedly, but then her expression morphs into a more serious one. "I think we should tell our kids that we are back together in order to avoid another awkward encounter like this one. Knowing my daughter, her first call after leaving the penthouse this morning was to your son."

Rufus senses the distress ebbing off of Lily's tiny frame and caresses her cheek.

"We will if that's what you want, but first, I think we need to take a shower. I am feeling a little dirty from earlier this morning," Rufus' voice lowers to a whisper by the end of his sentence. Lily's breath hitches and her eyes flicker up to meet Rufus' darkened ones.

"I like that idea, come on," Lily takes one of his hands that is entrapping her and threads her fingers through his. They walk upstairs and into the shower, starting where they left off this morning. By the time they are done, Lily's thighs were aching with pleasure. _Two times in one day and it isn't even noon_, Lily is delighted by how well things are going between them. Her eyes scamper over to Rufus' who is busy getting dressed in his trademark flannel shirt. Lily shakes her head and slips into navy blue trousers paired with a Diane Von Furstenberg silk white button up long sleeve shirt.

"When were you thinking of doing dinner with the kids?" Rufus asks from his place in the closet. Lily swivels around to face him while wrapping her hair in a chignon.

"I don't know, tonight maybe, if the kids aren't busy." Rufus takes a few strides over to her and pulls out his phone.

"I'll call my kids and you can handle Serena and Eric?" He asks her, already searching through his phone.

"Considering Serena already found out she probably isn't going to come tonight," Lily informs him and grabs her iPhone off the bedside table. Rufus doesn't hear her, having already gotten a hold of Dan.

"Dan…hey…can you come to dinner tonight…at the loft…say…around five?" Rufus asks, looking over to Lily for confirmation on the time. Lily picks up her phone and gives Rufus a tiny nod. "Okay…great son…see you then…bye," Rufus hangs up the phone and turns to face Lily.

"So dinner tonight at your place?" Lily asks, thinking that she would have food catered.

"I will cook you and the kids something besides chili, I promise," Rufus teases her and runs his hands up and down her sides.

"Great, I will tell the kids to come here and then we will go to the loft, sound good?" Rufus nods and points to her Louis Vuitton suitcases in the corner of her closet.

"Why don't you fill one of those up with your stuff and bring it with you to dinner tonight?" Lily's teeth clamp down on her lower lip playfully, deciding to have a little fun with Rufus.

"Is this your way of asking me to sleep over at your place tonight?" Rufus breaks out into a wicked grin,

"Maybe and be sure to pack that little red number from La Perla you have shoved in the back of your closet for the past week." Lily blushes deeply,

"I will and maybe if you are good I might even wear it for you." This evicts a low growl from Rufus,

"As much as I want to ravage you right here in this closet, I have to go and prepare dinner for us. So, I will see you tonight with your kids." Rufus gives her a toe-curling kiss. Lily loves these kinds of kisses from Rufus. The ones that make her stomach tingle and every nerve in her body go into overdrive. She backs away, knowing that her body will surrender fully to him if they continued kissing.

Rufus' lower lip sticks out, a pout washing over his face as Lily severs contact between them, he didn't expect her to be able to resist. He narrows his eyes at Lily who winks at him teasingly.

"You don't play fair," Rufus whines and reaches out to put a hand on Lily's lip.

"Sorry, but like you said, you have to go and make dinner." Rufus shakes his head at her and checks his phone, _it is only one o'clock. How long can grocery shopping and cooking take? _

"I have time," Rufus assures her and makes his way towards her, snaking his arm around her waist, bringing her towards him.

"Rufus wait," Lily says seriously and jerks her head away from him. Rufus exasperatedly sighs and frowns.

"What's wrong Lily?"

"What if the kids don't like the fact that we are back together?" Lily asks, fear cutting through her previous upbeat tone. Rufus understands Lily's concern, she always tries to put her kids' happiness over hers, and it's one of the many things he loves about her.

"I know it's hard, but we will figure it out. We are going to be okay this time Lil. I should go though; I have a few stops to make, so I will see you later." Rufus stamps a lingering kiss her forehead and leaves her alone in her walk-in closet.

_We are going to be okay this time Lil,_ Rufus said those words to her nearly four years ago over the phone. She believed him completely at the time, firmly trusting that it was their time to be together. Of course, CeCe hindered their reunion for awhile, but they found a way to be together eventually. Now, as much as confidence Lily has in them working out, she is still hesitant. The only thing she can really do is see how dinner with the kids goes and take it from there. Lily scans the floor and spots the La Perla bag containing the red sheer teddy she bought sticking out of a shelf on her closet. She laughs quietly to herself; Rufus must have dragged it out without her knowledge.

Suddenly, she has a rush of confidence, stemming from the fact that she knows that she really loves him. Although it might not be easy to get all of their kids on board with her and Rufus being together, the trepidation rolls off her body. Lily is doing something that she knows that will benefit her family whether Serena and Eric realize it or not. Her kids are adults now; they can be mature and accept that she is doing the right thing for her.

Lily snatches the bag off of the shelf, grabs a Louis Vuitton suitcase and starts packing. She has no choice but to see how dinner will play out tonight.

**A/N 2: Okay I know I said this was the last chapter, but I don't think I am ready to give this story up yet. I keep having ideas that end up being more chapters, so please bear with me and leave a review. Oh, and obviously I don't own the lines I stole from 3x05, easily one of my favorite episodes. Thanks for reading and look out for a new chapter of this and **_**Clean Slate. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know I sound like a broken record, but thanks so much for all the reviews. I would like to remind you that apart from the beginning of this story I am not following the storyline of Gossip Girl. Without further ado, enjoy this new chapter which is also rated M.**

**Chapter Four**

_Suddenly, she has a rush of confidence, stemming from the fact that she knows that she really loves him. Although it might not be easy to get all of their kids on board with her and Rufus being together, the trepidation rolls off her body. Lily is doing something that she knows that will benefit her family whether Serena and Eric realize it or not. Her kids are adults now; they can be mature and accept that she is doing the right thing for her. _

_ Lily snatches the bag off of the shelf, grabs a Louis Vuitton suitcase and starts packing. She has no choice but to see how dinner will play out tonight_.

She loads one day worth of clothes into her suitcase while grinning widely to herself. Lily can hear her iPhone buzzing softly on her nightstand table. She drops the shirt she is holding and rushes over to the phone. Her smile widens when she sees its Rufus calling.

"Hi darling," Lily coos into the phone. Rufus readjusts the phone so he can push the cart along the produce aisle.

"Hello my love! I was wondering what you and the kids wanted for dinner, I am kind of clueless here." Lily can feel herself soaring to cloud nine, this is the first time since her and Rufus have reconnected that they are calling each other terms of endearment. She never realized how much she missed it until now.

"I thought you knew how to make other things besides chili and waffles," Lily teases him, hearing him laugh on the other end.

"I do, but I thought I would do something nice for you, but if you want chili, I can make chili," Rufus mocks back.

"No, please you promised no more chili! How about some kind of pasta dish with chicken? I know my kids like that and I do too." Rufus is about to respond when he hears a beep coming from one of their phones.

"Sorry that is Serena, I have to take this. Do you want me to call you back?" Lily says after she checks her phone.

"No, I have to call Jenny so I will just see you tonight?"

"Okay, bye," Lily says sweetly and then switches over to her daughter.

"Serena, darling, what is going on?" Lily asks.

"I heard from Dan that you are doing family dinner with Rufus tonight, is that true?"

"Yes I was just about to call you about it actually. It's at the loft tonight five, but just come here and we will go there together. I still have to call your brother so if you could just not tell him that would be great," Lily tells her daughter who agrees.

"Sure, I'll just see you at the penthouse later then," Serena hangs up the phone leaving Lily a little shocked. Lily is thrilled that Serena is completely on board with her and Rufus being back together. Sure, Serena was a little resistant at first, but she came around rather quickly. Lily thinks that Serena likes Rufus a lot more than she lets on. Rufus always saw something in Serena that Lily didn't always see. Rufus had Serena's back when she dropped out of Brown even when Lily couldn't support her daughter. Furthermore, he never held the fact that she chose William over him as a father figure against her when he had every right to.

Lily bites her lip; thinking of how amazing Rufus is to her children just makes her fall in love with him even more. Speaking of her children, she has to call Eric about tonight.

"Hey mom, what's going on?" Eric says as he picks up the phone.

"Hello Eric, I just wondering if you were free for dinner tonight with your sister for a family dinner." Lily leaves the part out about them going into the loft for now, although she is convinced Eric won't have a problem with her being back together with Rufus. Eric loved Rufus like he was his own father which he kind of was. Eric never had a stable male figure in his life until Rufus came along.

"Sure, sounds like fun. What time do you want me to be there?"

"I told your sister to come here about five," Lily says and walks back into the closet to start packing.

"Okay mom, I have to go, but I will see you then."

"Alright Eric, bye," Lily hangs up the phone and tosses it on the floor. She puts the shirt that she threw on the floor previously into the suitcase with a pair of pants, her silk pajama set and toiletries. Her eyes flicker over to the La Perla bag resting on a shelf in her closet and she walks over to it. Lily takes the crimson teddy out of the bag and scrutinizes it. She has an idea, one that will sure to drive Rufus wild. Lily strips out of her clothes, puts the teddy on underneath and redresses, this time opting for a black mini skirt instead of the pants she was wearing earlier in order to allow Rufus easier access.

During dinner she will secretly let it slip to Rufus that she is wearing the skimpy clothing underneath, but won't let him do anything about it until later. It keeps him on his toes and makes him desire her that much more.

Rufus arrives back at the loft an hour later with the ingredients for dinner tonight. He is beyond ecstatic that he gets to cook for Lily in his own loft, something they rarely did throughout their marriage. It is a little weird to be cooking for his girlfriend who used to be his wife, but Rufus doesn't care as long as they are together. After Rufus unloads the groceries, he picks up his phone to call Jenny.

"Hey dad, what's going on?" Jenny questions once she answers the phone.

"Hey Jen, your brother and I are having dinner tonight and it wouldn't be the same without you. Could you possibly come?" Of course, just like Dan, he left out the part about Lily and her kids coming too. Rufus isn't as worried about Dan warming up to the fact that him and Lily are back together as much as he is about Jenny. At first, Jenny seemed to be excited about the fact that Rufus was marrying Lily and moving to the Upper East Side. Somewhere during their marriage, that changed. Jenny became the biggest opponent of their relationship, even going as far as trying to break them up. Rufus is hoping that Jenny can support him, but knows that might be asking for a lot.

"Sure, I can take the four o'clock train and be there by five fifteen. I can't stay long though; I have a test tomorrow that I have to study for."

"I promise either your brother or I will take you back right after dinner."

"Okay dad, I will see you then, bye." Jenny doesn't wait for a goodbye from Rufus and hangs up. Rufus is staring at his phone with a perplexed look on his face, _that was too easy_, he thinks to himself and shrugs. He shouldn't be questioning it; he should just go along with it.

Rufus starts leafing through his cookbook and looks at the clock, he has a little over two hours before Lily and the kids get here, he better start cooking if they want to eat at five.

Lily huffs as she tries to get her jet black eyeliner straight. She doesn't know why she is redoing it for the third time, probably out of nerves. Lily is terrified that Eric, Jenny and Dan won't like the fact that her and Rufus are back together. What would they do then? Lily can put Eric and Serena's happiness above her own like she has in the past, but she is willing to fight for her relationship with Rufus like she should have before instead of picking the easy way out.

"Mom!" Eric and Serena call from the kitchen. Lily smoothes down her ruffled skirt, snaps up her black pleated over the shoulder Chanel bag, slips into her ebony peep toe Jimmy Choo's and joins her kids downstairs. Luckily, Lily had the driver put her luggage into the trunk earlier before the kids arrived so there wouldn't be any questions.

"Hi guys," Lily kisses each of her kids on the cheek and follows them to the awaiting car. The driver already knows where they are headed, which Eric finds a little odd, but doesn't ask about it.

"So how are you guys doing?" Lily asks, trying to distract Eric for as long as she can.

"Fine, mom, where are we going for dinner?" Eric asks as he looks out the window, the city becoming more and more distant as the drive goes on.

"Brooklyn," Lily says softly, knowing that her son will eventually understand. Eric eyebrows furrow and he looks over at his mom and sister whose eyes are casted downward.

"Why would we be going…OH!" Eric says and breaks out into a wide grin. Lily tears her eyes away from her skirt to meet her sons. The smile on his face is infectious; soon both she and Serena are beaming as well.

"Well it's about time you two got back together. I was beginning to think you actually liked Bart," Eric jokes and leans over to hug Lily. Serena's child-like laugh rings through the limo as mother and son embrace.

"So, you two are okay with Rufus and I being a couple again?" Lily asks her children seriously as Eric sits back down on the other side of the limo.

"Of course, we love Rufus, mom and he is the only one for you." Eric confirms, speaking for him and Serena who nods.

"Oh Serena, have you talked to Dan since he wrote that article?" Lily asks, even though she knows that it a sore subject for her daughter. Serena grin falters ever so slightly,

"Yeah, I mean he apologized and…I don't know it's…." Serena trails off and shrugs.

"Complicated? It always is with those Humphrey men," Lily finishes for her daughter who smiles in appreciation. The limo pulls to a stop in front of Rufus' loft and they climb out. The driver grabs Lily's suitcase out of the trunk before Lily can stop him.

"Mom? Are you spending the night at your boyfriend's house?" Serena teases, enjoying seeing her mom become flustered for once. Lily feels her face heat up in embarrassment as she leads the way up to the loft.

"That is the plan, if that's okay with you guys of course," Lily mumbles as she knocks on the door to the loft.

"As long as we don't have to hear about what you and Rufus did during your sleepover," Eric warns her, having flashbacks from the time he heard Rufus and his mother having sex in the room above his. Lily's eyes bore into the loft door, praying that Rufus will answer the door before her kids can humiliate her more.

"I promise that you won't hear a word about our night together," Lily assures her children as she taps her foot, waiting for Rufus to come to the door.

"Rufus! You have no idea how happy I am to see you right now," Lily exclaims as she sees her ex-husband slash boyfriend opens the door to the loft. Rufus laughs and notices that there is still a pinkish tint in her cheeks. Serena and Eric both have innocent, doe-eyed expressions plastered on their faces which worry Rufus a little bit.

"I am happy to see you too Lil. Please come in," Rufus tells them and opens the door wider to allow them entry. Lily hands Rufus a bottle of wine with her free hand, which he graciously accepts. Serena and Eric are somewhat uncomfortable, having been in Rufus' loft only a handful of times and usually with Dan and Jenny.

"Rufus, where are Dan and Jenny?" Serena asks as she plops down on the couch next to her brother.

"Dan went to go pick Jenny up from the train station. They should be back any minute now," Rufus tells Serena.

"I am going to go put this in your room, excuse me," Lily says and rolls her suitcase into Rufus' room.

"Serena could you watch the chicken and Eric would you mind setting the table? I…uh…have to use the bathroom," Rufus says and curses himself for making up such a lame excuse. Serena and Eric agree, but obviously aren't buying his reason for leaving. Rufus disappears into his master bedroom and closes the door behind him.

"Rufus what…" Lily is caught off guard by Rufus kissing her passionately. Lily melts into his kiss and wraps her arms around him, pulling him closer. They sever their kiss but remain encompassed in each other's arms.

"So I take it the kids are okay with us being back together?" Rufus asks and tucks a tendril that escaped from her elegant bun back behind her ear.

"Yes, Eric told me that you were the only one for me. He even said that he was worried that I was starting to like Bart," Lily admits and watches a smirk chase across Rufus' face.

"He said that?" Rufus asks with disbelief, he knew there was a reason he always loved Eric. Lily nods and wraps her arms tight around his neck, pulling him in for an even deeper kiss.

"Did you pack that thing I told you to pack?" Rufus asks with hope. Lily laughs at the pure enthusiasm etched in Rufus' features and leans in, invading his space.

"I am wearing it," Lily whispers seductively and lifts up her skirt slightly to give him a peek of the scarlet fabric underneath. Rufus eyes darken as he leans in to kiss the hollow of her neck. Before things get too heated, they are forced to separate by a knock at the door.

"Rufus, I think the chicken is ready. Something is beeping," Serena calls from the other end of the door.

"She has your cooking skills I see," Rufus teases as Lily removes her arms from around her neck, the moment having been ruined.

"Funny Rufus," Lily comments sarcastically and opens the door for the both of them. Rufus walks into the kitchen while Lily uncorks the bottle of wine she brought. Lily gets off the couch to grab wine glasses while Rufus finishes up preparing them dinner.

"Yum, it looks delicious," Lily comments and plants a kiss on his cheek before she rejoins her children.

"It's ready, everyone grab a dish and bring it to the table," Rufus says even though his children aren't there yet.

"Shouldn't we wait for Dan and Jenny?" Lily asks as she grabs a dish full of green beans. Eric and Serena bring over a salad and some garlic bread while Rufus handles the chicken and spaghetti.

"They are…right there! Hi kids!" Rufus says and sets the plates down on the table. He then rushes over to hug both of his children and sits down in between Lily and Eric at the table. Jenny puts her coat down on the couch as Dan sits down by Serena wordlessly. He figures that Jenny will say enough about Rufus and Lily for the both of them. Jenny makes no move to join the rest of the family and stays rooted to the ground, a frown marring her previous upbeat tone.

"Jenny is there something wrong?" Rufus asks, as if he doesn't already know.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Jenny questions and points to Lily, not even trying to hide the distaste in her tone.

"We are a couple, again," Rufus informs his daughter and slides his hand under Lily's which is resting comfortably on his thigh. Jenny rolls her eyes and sighs heavily.

"Yeah until another one of her husband's comes back," Jenny mutters under her breath. Lily's jaw drops open, but she can't blame Jenny. _What did you expect Lily, Jenny to welcome you with open arms? _Lily turns her head to look at Rufus who is biting his lip in frustration, not knowing exactly what to say to his daughter. Eric, Serena and Dan are munching on their food quietly, not wanting to get into this argument.

"Jenny can I talk to you privately for a second?" Lily asks, surprising everyone, especially Jenny.

"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of everyone" Jenny says, hating how clichéd that sounded. Lily squeezes Rufus' hand, silently reassuring him that she can handle this, that she won't run away just because his daughter doesn't like them being together.

"Okay well, I would like to apologize to everyone here, especially you, Rufus. I regret everything that I did to make our marriage, and more importantly, our family fall apart. I love you guys and I want nothing more than for us to work," Lily finishes her apology and looks to Jenny for a cue, a sign that her words meant something to her. Jenny's face is impassive; she merely sits down at the table next to her brother and starts eating.

"Thank you, I love you," Rufus whispers in Lily's ear and lightly kisses her temple. Lily winks at him and removes her hand from his in order to take a sip of her wine. Rufus is disappointed in Jenny to say the least, but understands why she isn't jumping for joy about his and Lily's reunion. Jenny was hurt even more so then Dan when she heard of Lily and Rufus' divorce and blamed Lily for their separation. Rufus needs to give Jenny time to accept their relationship again and hopefully she will.

Rufus diverts his mind away from his daughter to the conversation he had with Lily in his bedroom earlier. She purposely told him about the lingerie that she is wearing to taunt him and now it's time for him to return the favor. While Lily is wrapped up in a conversation with Serena, he lets his hand fall back under the table. Slowly, Rufus glides his fingers up her leg, stopping when he reaches her skirt. Lily severs her conversation with her daughter just for a second, silently asking Rufus what he is doing. Rufus gives her an innocent smile and downs the last of his wine. Lily swivels in her chair to face Serena again, resuming their conversation. Rufus takes this as an invitation to continue his tantalizing torture.

He slips his hand under her skirt, gently kneading the fabric of the teddy underneath. He hears Lily's breath hitch a bit, knowing that after twenty years of being with Lily, that is a sign of her arousal.

_Oh my god! What is this man doing to me? Calm down Lily and focus. What is Serena talking about again? Oh who cares, just nod your head and smile. _Lily's mouth forms into a closed lip smile as she hears her daughter ramble on excitedly about something. Covertly, Lily grabs Rufus' hand and squeezes it really hard, eliciting a groan from Rufus. Rufus glares at her, but keeps his hand exactly where it is.

The rest of the dinner continues without a hitch, except for the fact that all Jenny really wants to do is leave. Jenny doesn't care how sorry Lily seems to be, she was sorry the last time she chose another man over Rufus which turned out to be a mistake. Jenny doesn't understand why her father puts up with that from Lily. Why can't he just let her go? As much as she doesn't like this situation, her father seems genuinely happy to be with Lily, something she hasn't seen since their divorce. How long will this happiness last this time? Jenny eats the last bite of her chicken and wipes her mouth with a napkin before speaking.

"I…want you to be happy dad but Lily has hurt you so many times before," Jenny starts, causing all eyes to turn to her.

"I love her very much and she wasn't the only one who messed up in our relationship Jenny, I did too. We are trying to make things work again and would really appreciate the support," Rufus says as calmly as he can. Jenny takes a second to process what her father just told her before responding back.

"I think that…I will be able to come around in time, but I can't pretend like we are a family again just yet," Jenny says and her cerulean orbs dig into her father's hazel ones, as if she is asking for him to accept her answer. Lily rubs Rufus' thigh, waiting for him to reply back to his daughter. Rufus chews on his bottom lip and gazes around the loft.

"Fair enough, now who wants dessert?" Rufus asks everyone and gets up from the table, cutting contact with Lily. Lily can tell how disappointed Rufus is right now even though he is trying to put up a brave front. Sadly, there is nothing anyone can do to make Jenny see it their way. That is something that she has to do in her own time.

Chocolate cake and milk are passed around the table with everyone graciously accepting a piece. Conversation is halted at the moment, each person wrapped up in their thoughts and the cake laid out in front of them. After dessert, Jenny announces that she has to go home and Dan nominates to escort her to the train station. Jenny hugs everyone goodbye except for Lily who receives a forced handshake.

Eric and Serena remain with Lily and Rufus at the loft, digesting the dinner that they just had.

"Well…that was…" Serena starts, trying to come up with the right adjective to use.

"Yeah…that was…interesting," Eric finishes for her and smiles at Lily and Rufus who don't smile back. Rufus crosses his arms, a scowl forming on his face. Lily rubs his arm reassuringly,

"Rufus, it's okay, she will come around eventually," Lily says to him. Rufus gives Lily a half nod and goes around the table to pick up the crumb-filled plates.

"I think Eric and I are going to go. I will tell Dan to come and sleep at the penthouse if that's okay with you, Rufus," Serena suggests, knowing how awkward it would be for Dan to walk in while Lily and Rufus are having sex.

"Thank you Serena, I would appreciate that a lot," Rufus says and hugs Lily's kids goodbye. Serena picks up her purse and walks through the open loft door, Eric closing it behind them.

Lily comes up behind Rufus who is putting the dirty dishes in the sink and wraps her arms around his waist.

"How can you be okay with the way Jenny treated you?" Rufus asks quietly, setting the dishes down in the sink before he swivels around to face Lily.

"I'm not, but I know that she is a confused teenage girl who sees me as the enemy right now. I have been through it before with Serena and I promise Jenny will accept us eventually." Lily links her arms loosely around his neck as Rufus encircles her waist.

"Thank you Lily, I know this has been hard for you," Rufus says and leans in to mesh his lips with hers. Lily is the first to pull away,

"It's been difficult for both of us, but what do you say we put that out of our minds for right now and do something else?" Lily suggests and kisses the curve of his neck. Rufus lets out a moan and a mischievous grin lights up his face.

"What did you have in mind?" Rufus asks, trying desperately to ignore Lily's assault on his neck and jaw.

"Well, it would be a shame if the lingerie I bought for you would go to waste, wouldn't it?" Lily asks, her eyes sparkling. Rufus picks her up and carries her into the bedroom. Lily wraps her legs around his torso as Rufus walks them backward towards the bed. She laughs as he tosses her gently onto his California king and reaches up to pull him down with her. Rufus unbuttons her blouse slowly, pausing to kiss her exposed chest after each button. Lily tosses her head back, allowing him to do whatever he pleases with her.

Rufus' eyes darken as the teddy comes into view. He unbuttons the blouse fully, tossing it aimlessly by the door and then goes to work on unzipping her skirt with his teeth, making her shiver. He releases the skirt, throwing it by her shirt and kisses up her thigh.

"You, my darling, are wearing too many clothes," Lily says, her voice dripping with lust. She rolls them over so she is the one on top and begins the alluring process of removing his clothes. First the shirt goes, Lily pausing to nip and kiss his pectorals. Rufus sighs in content and urges Lily to keep going. She slips off his pants, leaving his underwear on for the time being.

"My turn," Rufus says with delight and tugs at the shoulder straps on the cherry red teddy, making it fall onto the bed effortlessly. Lily is straddling him, clad only in her flimsy flesh colored panties. Rufus leans up to kiss her as he regains his previous position on top.

"Very sneaky," Lily whispers as Rufus takes the panties off of her. Lily wraps her legs around him again and practically rips his boxers right off of him. Rufus fondles her breasts, nipping and sucking on one before transitioning over to the other. Lily instinctively arches her back, pushing her chest closer to Rufus' face. Rufus is kisses her between the valley of her breasts and pulls back. Lily brings her head up to nip at his earlobe while she feels Rufus' finger descend down her body.

"Oh Lily…" Rufus says as he puts two fingers inside of her, rubbing the folds of her clit. Lily moans loudly and places sloppy wet kisses on Rufus' shoulder.

"Rufus…yes…" Lily breathes out, her voice staccato. Rufus takes his fingers out of her, bringing them up to her lips. Lily licks her lips and then wraps them around his fingers, tasting her own juices. Rufus takes this opportunity to enter her. Lily clamps down on his finger, being utterly caught off guard.

She releases her hold on his fingers and groans louder with each of Rufus' powerful thrusts.

"I am so close," She whispers, raking her fingers through his chocolate hair. Lily can feel her stomach muscles clamp down as she slips into her orgasm. Feeling Lily convulse around him and calling out his name drives Rufus into his own orgasm, filling her with him completely. Lily rides out her orgasm and collapses into the pillows, panting heavily and feeling totally satisfied by their latest sexual encounter. Rufus shrivels inside her and pulls out once he comes down from his own orgasmic high.

"Damn," Rufus mutters and rolls onto his side of the bed. Lily scoots closer to him in order to rest her head on his chest. How in the hell she went without this, without them, for nearly six months is beyond her. Rufus has a euphoric effect on her that she hasn't found in anyone else. The desire, the passion, the pure love that resides in their relationship is something that Lily never wants to part with again.

"I love you," Lily whispers and joins him under the covers. Rufus snakes an arm around her, pressing her against his side.

"I love you too Lil, so much," Rufus murmurs back and leans down to kiss the crown of her head.

"Rufus?" Lily asks, turning her head to look at his face in the moonlight seeping through the blinds.

"Lily?" Rufus asks in the same tone as her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Remember before…the divorce…" Lily pauses, still having trouble swallowing the fact that she ever left this man not once, but twice. "We talked about selling the penthouse and getting a new place. Do still want to do that?"

"Honestly Lil, I haven't given it any thought since our divorce. I think if we can both agree on a place then we should buy one."

"It would be an amazing fresh start for us and the kids," Lily muses and shrugs her bare shoulders. Rufus taps his fingers on her spine, seeming to be thinking about her proposition.

"I agree," Rufus says while yawning. Lily laughs at him and pokes her head up to look at the clock.

"It's not even eight o'clock and you are yawning? Are you getting old on me Humphrey?" Lily asks as she straddles him. Rufus grins like a Cheshire cat,

"Maybe, what are you going to do to keep me awake?" Lily reflects his impish smirk and bends down to kiss his chest.

"How about round two?"

**A/N 2: That is all you guys are getting for now! Next chapter is definitely going to be the last. I can't balance two stories as well as I thought I could. Reviews would be greatly appreciated because I want to hear what you guys think I should do for the final chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Welcome back and thanks for the reviews that you guys left for me! I should warn you guys that it gets very explicit at the end, so read at your own risk. Please enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter Five**

"…A little to the left…" Lily says to Rufus.

"Lily It's straight…" Rufus argues and steps back to admire his work.

"No it's not, it is still crooked, see?" Lily tilts the photo to the direction she wants until she thinks it is properly aligned. Lily backs away and stands next to Rufus who wraps an arm around her, pressing as close as to him as possible. By Lily's insistence, the photo of them kissing from their wedding is the first thing to go into their new home.

Ever since their conversation about moving out of the penthouse, Rufus and Lily began a massive real estate search across the boroughs of New York. Finally, after many compromises and bickering, they settled on a brownstone in Tribeca, their neutral ground, their Switzerland of sorts.

They sold the penthouse to a society friend of Lily's and started moving into their new apartment a few days ago.

"Look at all these boxes," Lily complains as she surveys their new place. The only things in the brownstone are the furniture they picked out together and several boxes scattered across the two floors.

"Don't worry; we will unload all of our stuff in time. Or we could make the kids do it for us," Rufus jokes and kisses her temple.

"As long as I can find my dress for tonight's gala, I am fine with our battlefield conditions," Lily says and twirls around to coil her arms loosely around his neck. Rufus readjusts his arms so they are encompassing her tiny waist.

"Battlefield conditions? We live in a brownstone in Tribeca, not a hut in Africa." Lily laughs and shrugs.

"Well it's not like I don't love our new place, it's just I am not looking forward to searching through all of our stuff to find my dress and your suit." Rufus groans and rolls his eyes,

"Well if we didn't go to the gala, we wouldn't have to bother combing through all these boxes to find out clothes now would we?" Lily laughs and rolls his eyes back at him,

"We promised that we would go to support Blair's new fashion line. If you don't want to go, you can stay here." Rufus' eyebrows shoot together, _that was too simple, that means there must be something going on that she isn't telling me. _

"Wait a second; you are giving me a free pass for this gala tonight? What is going on with you?" Lily slides her eyes away from Rufus', the crown molding on the adjacent wall suddenly becoming more important.

"Nothing, if you would rather hang out here and unpack then that's fine with me," Lily informs him and attempts to walk away, but Rufus grabs her hand.

"Lil, I know when you are hiding something from me. We didn't just take this big step for nothing." Lily sighs in defeat, Rufus is right, there has to be no secrets between them otherwise she might as well buy back her penthouse.

"I know, but I don't want to hurt your feelings." Rufus squeezes her hand in reassurance,

"I want you to be honest with me, we need to be open with each other, remember?"

"Of course I do. It's just that I am nervous about how people are going to perceive us being back together," Lily whispers and her brown orbs flicker up to watch his reaction.

"Lil, I appreciate your honesty, but it isn't about everyone else, it's about us," Rufus caresses her cheek and gives her an adorable boyish grin.

"You are right…"

"I know…" Rufus cuts in, but Lily puts her finger to his lips.

"As I was saying, I will try my best to not let everyone else's opinions affect our relationship. Plus, I hate going to parties alone."

"Then I will be happy to accompany you, just know that when we get back, you owe me sex." Lily quirks an eyebrow and bites her lip to hold in her laughter.

"Not that I am complaining, but in what way do I _owe_ you sex?"

"I have to wear a suit and pretend to enjoy caviar for the night. I think I should get something out of this deal." Lily shakes her head at Rufus,

"Rufus, you are so dramatic. How about when we get back from this party, you get to pick which room we christen first?" Rufus' hazel eyes light up at the proposition, mentally debating which room they should have sex in first.

"I could not possibly turn that idea down. Let's unpack a little and maybe get our bed ready?" Rufus proposes and points to the box marked bedroom written in Lily's slight cursive.

"Sure Rufus, if you want to," Lily laughs at the grin spreading across his lips, threatening to split his face in two. She picks up a box and follows Rufus upstairs to their bare bedroom. While they are unpacking, Lily can't help but replay the conversation she had with Rufus a few minutes ago. She promised him that she isn't going to let other people's opinions about their rekindled relationship, but what if does? What if she hesitates for a second and Rufus takes it the wrong way?

Furthermore, what if the Upper East Side turns their back on Lily? What would she do then? That society that Rufus constantly tries to shed is a part of her whether he likes it or not, it is all she has ever known. Lily isn't sure she is willing to be isolated from them and she hopes that Rufus won't make her choose.

"Lil?" Rufus asks, cutting into her thoughts. Lily tears her eyes away from their new comforter they just put down on the bed to look up at Rufus.

"I found our outfits for tonight," Rufus says and holds up two garment bags. Lily walks over to him, takes her dress from his hands and kisses him on the cheek.

"Thank you darling, what time is it?" Lily asks as she heads into their severely downgraded walk in closet.

"A little after five, do you want to get something to eat before the party?" Rufus asks while he follows her into their closet.

"Sure, do you mind if we have Chinese? It's quick and easy," Lily says her back to him so she can unzip the garment bag, revealing her attire for tonight. Rufus is distracted for a second, eyeing the wine colored, one shoulder, floor length gown, letting himself imagine what it would look like on Lily, or, even better, what it would look like as he is taking it off of her.

"Rufus did you hear me?" Lily asks him, turning around to see if he was still there. Lily smiles, she knew that look that he was giving her, it usually leads to them to the bedroom. Rufus clears his throat, forcing himself to think of anything besides what he wanted to do Lily right now. _Damn, I can tell by that smug smirk on her face that she knows what I am thinking about right now, _Rufus thinks to himself and attempts to mask his lust.

"I…uh…what did you say?" Rufus asks her and watches her smirk stretch further across her face.

"I was asking you if we could order our usual Chinese, but you seemed to be preoccupied," Lily says, her eyes shooting down to his groin which looks a little tight.

_Oh, _how he wants to smother that arrogant smile with a kiss, but he is well aware that things escalate between them quickly. They don't have enough time for sex now, but as soon as they get back, she is all his.

"That sounds great, I will go order it," Rufus excuses himself from their room before Lily has the chance to tease him. Lily grins in victory while she hears Rufus rattle off their orders and new address. She is astounded that even when they were separated, Rufus still never forgot a thing about her. She desperately tried to forget everything about him when she chose Bart again, thinking that the whole out of sight, out of mind thing would work. Obviously, it didn't, not even close. She would smell traces of Rufus' cologne on Bart, taste Rufus' waffles instead of Bart's Raisin Bran, and see Rufus' flannel attire rather than Bart's suits. Bart grabbing her on Thanksgiving was the last straw; Lily finally allowed her senses to lead her to who she knew she should be with.

Lily smiles to herself, she made the right choice, regardless of what everyone else thinks. Rufus is who she truly loves. Not Bart, Klaus, William or the myriad of men she has dated and married throughout her life. She brushes a piece of lint of her dress and digs through one of her boxes in the master bedroom to find her toiletry bag.

Lily does her hair and makeup and Rufus searches for some plates while they are waiting for the food to arrive. They eat in a rush, they didn't think it would take that long for the food to arrive to their new place, but by the time they were done they only had forty five minutes until they had to be there.

"Damn it," Rufus mumbles to himself when he realizes that he forgot to grab cufflinks from upstairs. He sighs; he doesn't want to walk all the way upstairs when Lily is already up there.

"Lil?" Rufus yells, hoping that Lily is still in their room getting dressed.

"What's up Rufus?" Lily yells as she reaches her arm around her hip in order to zip up her dress.

"Can you see if there are any cufflinks in one of my boxes?" Lily rolls her eyes and starts digging through Rufus' boxes piled near his side of the bed. She rifles through them until she spots a black box at the bottom of a pile of shirts. Figuring that they must be in there, she opens the box, gasping when she sees what is inside.

"Oh my god!" Lily whispers and takes out the engagement ring. She turns it over in her hand to marvel at the ring, which displays an emerald cut diamond in the center surrounded by tiny diamonds on both sides. _Was this a trick? Did Rufus mean for me to find this? _

Rufus is rocking back and forth on her heels. What is taking Lily so long to look through a few boxes? _Oh shit! The ring! _Rufus could kick himself; he forgot to pack the ring separately when they were loading up their possessions back at the penthouse. _Okay, relax, maybe she hasn't found it yet. Just go upstairs and act normal, she won't suspect a thing. _He takes a deep breath and ascends the stairs, but it is too late. Lily is already inspecting the jewelry thoroughly with a nervous expression on her face.

"Lily I…" Rufus starts and then stops, he is clueless about what to say. This wasn't how his second marriage proposal to her was supposed to go. There was going to be flowers and a romantic dinner followed by "will you marry me?" His last proposal to her was so out of the blue, but he knew he was doing it at the right time. If he does it now, it will feel rushed, uncaring and that isn't how a marriage proposal should be.

"It's beautiful," Lily mumbles, returning the ring to the box, closing it and handing it to Rufus. Rufus' eyes dance between the ebony velvet and Lily's chocolate eyes. He wasn't expecting her to give the ring back to him. Does this mean that she doesn't want him to propose?

"Why did you give it back?" Rufus asks out of curiosity, even though he should just be happy that she isn't expecting a proposal.

"I would love for you to propose, but I just don't think right now would be a good time. I don't think we should let circumstance impose a timeline." Lily says, tossing back the words Rufus said to her about four years ago when they were going to move in together for Dan's Yale tuition. Rufus nods in understanding, she is right; forcing themselves into making a life altering decision on a whim isn't going to be good for them.

"I will take back the ring as long as you understand to not expect skywriting or a proposal on top of the Empire State building," Rufus jokes and puts the ring on top of his stack of boxes. Lily giggles and coils her arms around his waist to bring him back towards her.

"I have full confidence in you to come up with your own way to propose to me like the first time." Lily still has the Lincoln Hawk tour bracelet he proposed to her with in her jewelry box. His proposal was sudden, unplanned, but it was so him, so _them_.

"Are you sure you can wait?" Rufus asks seriously.

"I want you to propose to me because you want to, not because I found the ring hidden beneath your t-shirts. Honestly Rufus, we just moved in together again, let's just take one big thing at a time okay?" Lily reaches up to brush a piece of hair out of his eye.

"I agree, at least we are making some progress Rhodes," Rufus says, reverting back to her maiden name just to mock her.

"Yes we are and I intend to celebrate that progress with you later."

"How about now?" Rufus asks and leans in to kiss her. Lily instinctively moans and melts into the kiss, but remembers where they have to be and pulls away.

"After the party," Lily whispers in his ear, nibbles at his earlobe and steps out of their embrace to grab her Burberry pea coat. It takes every fiber in Rufus' being not to rip her dress off and throw her onto their bed, but he knows that delaying them will only make Lily torture him more at the party. Instead, he squashes his urge for now and takes her head, leading her downstairs to an awaiting car.

"I didn't think drivers left the Upper East Side," Rufus mutters to Lily as they are being driven to the event.

"I paid him extra to risk his life and come here," Lily teases and puts her head on Rufus' chest feeling it tremble with laughter. Suddenly, Lily across Rufus to comb through the mini bar, pulling out a bottle of champagne and two flutes.

"I thought that we could propose a toast, to our first night in our new place," Lily explains, noticing the perplexed expression laid out on Rufus' face. Rufus isn't buying Lily's excuse; he thinks that she just wants some liquid courage before the party. Still, he accepts the alcohol and clinks his glass together with hers. They down the amber liquid just as the limo pulls to a stop in front of the W hotel.

"Are you ready for this?" Rufus asks, noting her hesitation to climb out of the car. Lily sets her glass down in the cup holder and takes a deep breath. She was the one who wanted to come here tonight; it wouldn't be fair to back out now.

"Yes," Lily kisses Rufus softly before stepping out of the town car. Rufus slides out after her and tips the driver. They walk inside, check Lily's coat in, and hover at the threshold of the ball room. Rufus slips his hand into hers, feeling the anxiety ebbing off of Lily. Lily glances over at him, giving his hand a squeeze. Rufus steps forward, allowing him and Lily to blend in with the other guests. However, most of the people stop their conversations and turn their eyes over to Rufus and Lily, volleying whispers back and forth.

Lily freezes and lets Rufus' hand slip out of her grasp. She is having flashbacks from the Jenny Packham fashion show shortly following her release from house arrest when everyone was talking about her then. Assimilating herself back into society wasn't as easy as she hoped it would be, just like isn't now.

Rufus feels his hand that was holding Lily's become lighter and realizes that she is standing two feet back, timidly surveying the room. He isn't naïve enough to believe that everyone isn't talking about them, but unlike Lily he simply doesn't care. Regardless, Lily needs some motivation to ignore the watchful eyes. So, Rufus walks back over to her, putting his hands on her hips to garner her full attention.

"Hey, we knew it was going to be like this, right?" Rufus asks Lily to which she nods.

"I know, but Rufus, I didn't think everyone would be talking about us," Lily glares at Anne Archibald who is whispering to another lady and pointing at Lily.

"Remember the fashion show?" Rufus asks, seeming to be able to read Lily's mind.

"Yes, unfortunately I do."

"Well, we got past that didn't we?" Lily sighs and reflects on how supportive Rufus was of her that night. He took her to an event that he really didn't want to go to, but since it was Lily's first party since being free, he went along. Rufus even gave her a pep talk when she was feeling hesitant about staying.

"We did, but Rufus how can you just not care?" Rufus chuckles,

"Lil, I was never taught to care." In a way, that makes Lily feel a little bad. She doesn't mean to make a fuss about them reintroducing themselves to society as a couple and can tell that Rufus is starting to lose his patience with her.

"I am sorry, I don't mean to make it seem like I don't want everyone to know that we are back together, I just…" Lily trails off, hoping that Rufus will be empathetic.

"It's okay Lil," Rufus says genuinely. Lily beams at him and pulls his face close to hers in order to kiss him. When their lips sever, Rufus rests his hand on the small of her back, guiding her into the party. On their way to find their kids, Rufus and Lily are intercepted by Eleanor.

"Rufus, Lily, I didn't think you were going to be here…together," Eleanor says and takes a sip of her drink. Rufus rubs Lily's back, urging her to relax and stay calm.

"Yes well…we are…together," Lily answers, fumbling with her words a little bit. Rufus brings his hand up to adoringly squeeze her shoulder while casting a smile at Eleanor.

"Good, Cyrus and I always knew that you two made a cute couple. I can recall when we told you two to get married at Blair's graduation and the next thing we know, you announced that you were engaged!"

While Lily and Rufus are chatting with Eleanor, one of Blair's minions takes a picture of the couple to send into Gossip Girl. A variety of different ringtones blare through the party, signaling the latest blast.

**Spotted: Mr. Lonely Boy and the former Mrs. Bass looking very much together at B's party. Keep checking your mailbox for a wedding invitation kitties! Maybe this time their marriage will stick, seven is a lucky number after all. Stay tuned for more details.**

Lily and Rufus bid goodbye to Eleanor, unaware that the newest piece of gossip was about them. Lily sees Serena and Dan talking in a corner table and drags Rufus over to them, not letting go of his hand.

"Hey Serena! Hey Daniel!" Lily says with enthusiasm, dropping Rufus' hand for a moment to hug her daughter and former stepson. Serena observes her mother immediately reaching for Rufus' hand again; almost as if she is reassuring herself that he isn't leaving her side.

"Hey mom, Rufus, how is the new house coming along?" Serena asks.

"We are currently living out of boxes, but when we finally get it all set up, you can come see it," Lily tells Serena. Serena can tell by the way her mother is clinging to Rufus that she is very nervous about something. She is guessing that it had to do with people talking about their arrival, but wants to be sure.

"Dad, do you want to get a drink with me?" Dan asks, wanting to give Serena the chance to talk to Lily alone.

"Sure son, do you want a drink darling?" Rufus asks Lily who releases her hand from his.

"I would love a glass of champagne," Rufus nods and places a kiss on her cheek before following Dan to the bar.

"So mom, are you okay? You seem a little freaked out about something," Serena asks once Rufus and Dan are out of hearing range. Lily half nods and half shrugs unconvincingly.

"I don't like my relationship to be scrutinized at a party for Blair, that's all." Serena rolls her eyes; her mother could come up with a better lie than that.

"That is to be expected, but did something happen between you and Rufus?" Lily's eyes scamper around the room, avoiding Serena's question for a moment.

"Yes, but you can't tell him anything, okay?" Lily wants to open up to her daughter, something that has been lacking in their relationship for so long.

"Mom, I promise, not a word to Dan or Rufus," Serena adds Dan to assure her mother that she won't blab to any Humphrey.

"We were late to the party because Rufus found me staring at an engagement ring that he bought me." Serena's eyes widen, that was the last thing she was expecting Lily to tell her.

"Wow, that is…great? Right? I mean, you don't seem too excited about it so I am not sure how to respond here." Serena laughs slightly, trying to ease the stress her mother is feeling.

"It is great and I do love him enough to marry him again, I just don't want to move too fast. We just bought the brownstone and last time we were married before we even lived together for a substantial period of time. What if we push each other away again?" Lily unloads to Serena, feeling a sense of overwhelming catharsis spreading through her body. Serena takes a minute to process what Lily told her, trying come up with the best solution.

"Have you told Rufus what you just told me?" Serena asks although she is assuming the answer is no.

"Kind of, I mean we agreed to hold off until we are ready."

"So what's the problem?"

"What happens if he is ready and I'm not?"

"Mom, the fact that you are nervous about getting married again tells Rufus that you are taking this seriously. I think he respects you enough to give you guys some time."

"Thank you darling, you always know what to say," Lily says and puts her hand over Serena's.

"I have hung around Dan enough to know how his mind works and I am guessing it is a lot like Rufus'."

Meanwhile, Dan and Rufus order their drinks and hang around the bar while they wait for them.

"So I saw that Lily was a little nervous tonight? Anything you want to…elaborate on?" Dan asks Rufus.

"It's hard for her Dan. I think she is worried that the Upper East Side won't want her anymore and for that, I blame CeCe."

"That woman did have it in for you."

"Yes she did, but we came to a mutual understanding eventually. Plus, Lily found the engagement ring I was going to give her before we came here." Rufus admits and watches Dan's face morph into a shocked expression.

"Woah…okay…stop for a second. Did you propose?"

"No, we agreed to see how living in our new place will work. Anyway, I saw you talking to Serena when we walked in." Dan blushes and scratches his head.

"Yeah, well I apologized for that article I wrote about her on Thanksgiving and we have been talking again. We are just friends, so you don't have to worry."

"I'm not, Dan. I trust you and I know how much Serena means to you," Rufus says as he accepts his and Lily's drinks. Dan takes his and follows Rufus back over to where Serena and Lily are talking.

They chat with the kids a little while longer and then go back to their new place around ten o'clock.

"That didn't go over very well," Lily says on the ride to their brownstone.

"Next time will be better Lil," Rufus promises and kisses the crown of her head.

"Thank you Rufus for the support."

"I love you Lily, I will always support you."

"I love you too Rufus," Lily cranes her neck up in order to stamp a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rufus intensifies the kiss by placing his hand on the side of her face, pulling her in closer. They part due to lack of oxygen, their lips swollen and eyes glistening in the cloak of darkness.

When they arrive back to their place in Tribeca, they waste no time easing their way to their bedroom. Rufus kicks the front door closed, not separating his lips from Lily's. Lily smiles against his lips while she slides his suit coat off of him. Rufus guides Lily backwards up the stairs, kissing the entire way. At the entrance to their bedroom, Rufus picks Lily up in one swoop and kisses her fully. Lily instinctively drapes her arms around his neck loosely while she moans into his mouth.

"Wait…I wanted to put on some lingerie for you," Lily says, her voice disjointed. Rufus eases her gently on the bed and slips the strap about halfway down her arm, kissing the exposed flesh.

"Save it, it would take you hours to find it anyway." Lily shrugs and slips her fingers through the knot in his tie, undoing it and throwing it aimlessly across the room. Next she flips them over so she is on top and starts unbuttoning his white dress shirt. Once she gets it off, Lily licks down his chest, stopping to dip her tongue in his navel. Rufus moans and bucks his hips up. Without preamble, Lily slides off his belt and pants. Teasingly, she rubs his balls from the outside of his boxers.

"Stop, I want to get your dress off first," Rufus says between breaths, trying to control the heaving of his chest. Lily smirks and allows Rufus to flip them over again, taking back control. Rufus eases the strap out of her arm and lets the gown shed her skin achingly slowly. Lily is wearing nothing but black and white striped panties, just the way he likes her. A cat-ate-the-canary grin spreads across Rufus' face as he lowers his head to suck at her nipples. Lily throws her head back, fully enjoying what Rufus is doing to her.

Repeating what she did to him, Rufus glides his tongue from the valley between her breasts to her belly button. Lily shivers and wraps her legs around the apex of his hips.

"Wait, not yet," Rufus whispers to her and uses his hands to separate her legs. Lily nods and reaches forward to slide off his boxers, leaving him naked and waiting. Rufus rubs the flimsy material of her panties, right over her sex.

"Just…do it…already," Lily breathes out, getting annoyed by all this teasing. Rufus bites the inside of his cheek and assists her in the removal of her panties. Lily kisses him as he slides two fingers inside of her, checking to see if she is ready for him.

"You are so wet," Rufus huskily whispers in her ear and teases the folds of her clit. Lily hums and closes her eyes in content, effectively surrendering her body over to Rufus. He slithers his fingers out of her and replaces them with a more effective tool. Lily gasps with pleasure when she feels Rufus enter her. As part of their natural rhythm, Rufus starts out with slow, gentle thrusts, building his way up to their release. Lily places messy kisses on his biceps and pectorals, feeling herself starting to unravel.

"God! Rufus! Yes!" Lily cries out. _This is it, _her mind says to her. Her walls clamp down around her, her mind starts to go fuzzy. Lily rides out her orgasm with pleasure, her head lolling from side to side. The little whimpers and moans stemming from Lily makes Rufus find his release as well. When they are done, they are left gasping for breath, their chests heaving, their sweat intertwining with one another's.

Rufus pulls out of her and collapses on the other side of the bed, fully spent. Lily regains her footing and slides under the covers, urging Rufus to do the same. Rufus follows suit and brings her flush against him.

"That was a lot better than that stupid party," Lily whispers and kisses Rufus' chest. Rufus dips his head down so his noise is pressed up against her blonde tresses.

"I agree, maybe next time we can just skip the party and do this instead," Rufus suggests, although he is aware that Lily wouldn't go for the idea.

"I wouldn't want sex so badly if I wasn't so frustrated."

"Good point," Rufus retorts. A silence falls over the room as Lily rubs Rufus' chest and Rufus rakes his fingers through her hair. No one wants to speak for fear of ruining the intimate moment.

"Rufus, I hope I didn't scare you off earlier by giving you back the ring," Lily mumbles against his shoulder, obstructing her speech. She said it so softly that he almost didn't hear her, but he is pretty sure he caught what the gist of she said.

"Trust me Lily; I don't intend to give it to you for a while. I think we need to focus on putting the house together first."

"I agree and I want you to propose when I least expect it."

"Did you like the ring?"

"I thought it the ring was absolutely gorgeous, I can't wait to have it on my finger."

"You will, in time."

"Goodnight Rufus, I love you."

"Goodnight Lil, I love you too."

**A/N 2: That is the end of **_**Safety Net! **_**I didn't want to end with a proposal because a lot of other stories did. I would rather have the assumption that he is going to propose rather than him actually doing it. Thank you for reading and please leave one final review on your way out. **_**Clean Slate **_**will be updated soon!**


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